I graduated from Lansing Waverly, MSU and then Michigan law school. I keep in touch with a handful of my law school friends, who get together once a year for a Michigan football game. During the last 9 years, I've never taken unsolicited cheap shots at the Michigan program with these friends, but when they have taken shots at MSU, I’ve responded with force, facts and biting sarcasm.
After the Wisconsin loss, one of my Michigan friends (we’ll call him Steve --- he lost our last 4 bets on the UM-MSU game) emailed me: “Tough time to be a MSU fan. First they get embarrassed at home by Wisconsin and now rumors are circulating that LSU is targeting their football coach. Will Dantonio follow Saban and the money and bolt MSU for LSU? If so, I am sure Bobby Williams is still around.”
I responded:
Thank you so much, Steve, for reaching out to me in my moment of despair. To you it may seem a small act, but it lifted my spirits. You are truly a treasure, and I am blessed to call you friend.
A bitter and disappointing loss? Yes, yes, it was. But you know me; I'm always looking for silver linings. And I like to think that MSU's loss to Wisconsin brought me closer to you and the rest of our group. I now have some very, very, very, almost infinitesimally small sense of the overwhelming humiliation suffered by you and the rest of the Michigan fanbase for the last nine years. I would hope that, after nine years (not just one mere game) of such abject and utter humiliation, I could show a tiny fraction of the class for which you and, indeed, the entire Michigan fanbase, are so famously known (see, e.g., http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2016/09/21/paul-finebaum-calls-whining-and-crying-michigan-fans-pathetic/). Fortunately, I doubt that I will ever be put to that severe a test of character. How could MSU football under Dantonio, Hollis, and Simon ever sink to such abysmal depths?!? Regardless, I shall endeavor to follow your example in shouldering, if necessary, with head held high, defeat after defeat, shattered expectation after shattered expectation, year after year after year after year after year, with nothing less than the utmost dignity and unrelenting faith in better things to come! Praise the Lord!
Oh, and as for the "rumors," who can blame LSU for wanting to replace a failed Michigan Man with one of the best coaches in the country? And who can blame Harbaugh, you and Michigan fans for desperately clinging to the hope that Coach Dantonio would leave the Big Ten East? True Michigan Men don't require real challenges or actually walking the walk before so arrogantly talking the talk, now do they? My God, if that were the case, what would be the use of celebrating September Heismans and national recruiting championships!?!
I truly am looking forward to your getting back to me when (and, please, not one second before) Harbaugh and the Wolverines have at least matched Dantonio and MSU's relatively insignificant recent accomplishments. Harbaugh and Michigan can do this by simply (1) beating MSU 7 of 8 games (you and Harbaugh are currently 0-1), (2) beating OSU and Urban Meyer 3 of 5 games (also currently 0-1), (3) winning 3 Big Ten championships in 6 years (currently 0 for 1), and (4) being the only team in the country to finish in the Top 6 for three consecutive years. Given Michigan's clear and stark advantages (Harbaugh!!!, the Michigan brand!!!, the North Carolina basketball player on your football uniforms!!!, the General Studies Degree!!!, etc.), this will pose no problem whatsoever! But, in striving for and eventually reaching these relatively minor goals, please remember to retain every bit of the same humility, dignity, and respect for those less fortunate that you and the Michigan faithful so amply and repeatedly demonstrated while Michigan football was, at least to some noncognoscenti, the laughingstock of the Big Ten. Leaders and best!
I am also looking forward to the day, and trust me, I know it will be coming soon, when Harbaugh's signature victories will consist of more than (and currently entirely of) MSU losses to teams other than Michigan. Schadenfreude is such a poor and bitter substitute for the thrill of actual and meaningful accomplishments. I pray that you may know this! Hallelujah, my brother!
P.S., good luck against Wisconsin! You know I'll be pulling for you and the boys! Go Blue!
P.P.S., I'll take Wisconsin +21 points for $50! Also, Dantonio to stay at MSU for the balance of the 2016 season for $100! Please email me immediately to confirm our bets!
P.P.P.S.,
After the Wisconsin loss, one of my Michigan friends (we’ll call him Steve --- he lost our last 4 bets on the UM-MSU game) emailed me: “Tough time to be a MSU fan. First they get embarrassed at home by Wisconsin and now rumors are circulating that LSU is targeting their football coach. Will Dantonio follow Saban and the money and bolt MSU for LSU? If so, I am sure Bobby Williams is still around.”
I responded:
Thank you so much, Steve, for reaching out to me in my moment of despair. To you it may seem a small act, but it lifted my spirits. You are truly a treasure, and I am blessed to call you friend.
A bitter and disappointing loss? Yes, yes, it was. But you know me; I'm always looking for silver linings. And I like to think that MSU's loss to Wisconsin brought me closer to you and the rest of our group. I now have some very, very, very, almost infinitesimally small sense of the overwhelming humiliation suffered by you and the rest of the Michigan fanbase for the last nine years. I would hope that, after nine years (not just one mere game) of such abject and utter humiliation, I could show a tiny fraction of the class for which you and, indeed, the entire Michigan fanbase, are so famously known (see, e.g., http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2016/09/21/paul-finebaum-calls-whining-and-crying-michigan-fans-pathetic/). Fortunately, I doubt that I will ever be put to that severe a test of character. How could MSU football under Dantonio, Hollis, and Simon ever sink to such abysmal depths?!? Regardless, I shall endeavor to follow your example in shouldering, if necessary, with head held high, defeat after defeat, shattered expectation after shattered expectation, year after year after year after year after year, with nothing less than the utmost dignity and unrelenting faith in better things to come! Praise the Lord!
Oh, and as for the "rumors," who can blame LSU for wanting to replace a failed Michigan Man with one of the best coaches in the country? And who can blame Harbaugh, you and Michigan fans for desperately clinging to the hope that Coach Dantonio would leave the Big Ten East? True Michigan Men don't require real challenges or actually walking the walk before so arrogantly talking the talk, now do they? My God, if that were the case, what would be the use of celebrating September Heismans and national recruiting championships!?!
I truly am looking forward to your getting back to me when (and, please, not one second before) Harbaugh and the Wolverines have at least matched Dantonio and MSU's relatively insignificant recent accomplishments. Harbaugh and Michigan can do this by simply (1) beating MSU 7 of 8 games (you and Harbaugh are currently 0-1), (2) beating OSU and Urban Meyer 3 of 5 games (also currently 0-1), (3) winning 3 Big Ten championships in 6 years (currently 0 for 1), and (4) being the only team in the country to finish in the Top 6 for three consecutive years. Given Michigan's clear and stark advantages (Harbaugh!!!, the Michigan brand!!!, the North Carolina basketball player on your football uniforms!!!, the General Studies Degree!!!, etc.), this will pose no problem whatsoever! But, in striving for and eventually reaching these relatively minor goals, please remember to retain every bit of the same humility, dignity, and respect for those less fortunate that you and the Michigan faithful so amply and repeatedly demonstrated while Michigan football was, at least to some noncognoscenti, the laughingstock of the Big Ten. Leaders and best!
I am also looking forward to the day, and trust me, I know it will be coming soon, when Harbaugh's signature victories will consist of more than (and currently entirely of) MSU losses to teams other than Michigan. Schadenfreude is such a poor and bitter substitute for the thrill of actual and meaningful accomplishments. I pray that you may know this! Hallelujah, my brother!
P.S., good luck against Wisconsin! You know I'll be pulling for you and the boys! Go Blue!
P.P.S., I'll take Wisconsin +21 points for $50! Also, Dantonio to stay at MSU for the balance of the 2016 season for $100! Please email me immediately to confirm our bets!
P.P.P.S.,
